[You think you know how Man was created? Think again. Here is the real story…]
“Mankind?” The God once known as Lucifer but now calling himself El was confused by my proposal.
“Dost thou not want to rule Illyria…with your father Zebub?” I whispered, knowing I was walking a dangerous line, and to keep my master from growing angry, I explained. “Let us make Mankind in our own divine image. Then we can use them to overwhelm Michael’s army and destroy A’H as well.”
El pondered only for a moment, before a smile covered his visage as the implications of my idea sank in for him. Then, together, the God El and I fashioned the first human.
“Let us name him Adam.” I suggested slyly.
El laughed long at the suggestion — for Adamas was the name that A’H had called the first of the stellarone spirits when we were all together in Illyria. Yet my lord’s amusement quickly ended when it became apparent that the Adam we had created was naught but a lifeless being.
Ever at the ready with ideas to save my master embarrassment — and to protect myself from the El’s ire — I was quick to recommend, “Let us fill this man with one of the souls your father captured from Illyria. Surely that will bring it life.”
The Demon Lord sneered at me – at first angered to be caused to remember the countless souls still remained as hostages here on The Middle Plane, but when I explained how such an action might cause irreparable harm to A’H’s creations, El was all too eager to do exactly as I suggested.
The result was immediate — Adam, the first of your race, took his first breath and knew Life!
“One is hardly enough?” I offered.
God agreed. “How do you suggest we make it reproduce?”
“We must give it a mate.” And trying to be casual I offered, “If you will allow me, master?”
I purposefully took longer to create the second human on my own so that Zebub’s son would think I was struggling – annoyed at me, El quickly jumped in to finish the task – crafting the first female of your race. His work wasn’t as good as my finished product would have been but alas, such is life.
“And what shall you name this WoMan?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
“Lilith.” El played along with the earlier joke — using the name that A’H had used for the second of the stellarones — and then we forced another of the captured souls inside our newest creation.
Unfortunately things didn’t go as planned – when we told Adam and Lilith to breed, the man was all to happy to comply with our orders, but the woman was stubborn. She refused to submit to the man’s dominance (1) and wanted to first talk about sharing control in their relationship (2). When Adam refused, Lilith ran off. Although this was rather amusing to watch, when the woman ran away I was sure that God would destroy her, but in truth my master’s spirit often tired of my little experiments before they reached completion and this was one such occasion — thus Lilith escaped with her life — and I had to adjust my plans.
After thinking about what went wrong with Adam and Lilith, I concluded that the reason I could not force them to do my bidding stemmed from the fact that when A’H created the stellarones as a heavenly host It gave each of those souls a Free Will. We lumenarcs were blessed with the same gift (3) and we used that power when we made the choice to rebel against A’H (4). The stellarones were obviously not as smart as the lumenarcs so we didn’t even recruit them in our rebellion, but I could see now that A’H’s little gift was only going to cause me problems. I started experimenting on some of the souls Zebub had captured from Illyria, but I had little success in removing the unwanted component from any of them — discovering that if I separated a soul from its free will, the soul was destroyed (5).
“Perhaps the best I can do is to try to warp these souls?” I said to myself, while strolling around the wild lands of Terra – a world that had come a long way during the past few billion years. Having grown fond of this world, I allowed myself to soak in the pleasure of the landscape as I pondered further. Surrounded by fruit trees, I plucked one of the red orbs that were hanging everywhere around me; Adam had named this fruit Apple and he seemed rather fond of them so I took a bite into the flesh – it was tart but sweet. I liked it immediately – then proceeded to eat the entire orchard.
My desire sated, I leaned back against one of the trees and looked at the cores that now littered the landscape, “Perhaps I can make use of these?” But then brushing the thought away, “Of course I can. But I must focus on the task at hand. To control the stellarum souls I will torture them – just as Zebub and Lucifer did to my brethren and I. Only when the souls bend to my will, can I insert them into my humans – that will ensure they do as I desire.”
My experiment worked and soon I had a host of tortured stellarones who wanted nothing more than to serve me if it meant their pain would stop (6). Pleased with myself, I surveyed the scene on Terra — with the God El’s presence elsewhere in the universe, I took it upon myself to make some decisions. Back at this time, I hadn’t yet become a master genomist and my ability to clone was still millennia away, thus it was imperative that my humans produce offspring on their own in order for my plans to move forward. I had two fertile creatures, but they refused to breed together – so I did the next best thing: I reached out to my lumenarc friends and promised them a host of delights if they paid a visit to my world. First to arrive was one of my fallen brethren, formerly known as Araquiel in Illyria, but who your kind would later know as the god Pan. Pan was an incredibly fertile deity whose sexual appetites were legendary – this made him perfect for my designs!
“Take a look at this beauty.” I showed Lilith to my friend – having cast a spell on the woman to make her appear irresistible and in heat. I had also played around with her internal anatomy a bit while she was sleeping – trying to make the most of her reproductive abilities.
At first things looked good – Pan took the bait and coupled with Lilith many times over; Pan’s power was so strong that after each “session,” Lilith gave birth almost immediately to multiple sets of twin humanoids, all fully grown. Lilith called them “Mylars” and was all to happy to mother them. Unfortunately Lilith’s children didn’t meet my expectations – for one thing they were shockingly tiny (7). Worse yet, they were all born without souls and there was no receptacle for me to put one of my tortured souls in to — this meant I couldn’t control the Mylars. And on top of all of this, I discovered that when they died Myers simply returned to the dust of Terra. Once I realized these little imps were useless I quickly took the <irresistability> spell off Lilith. When Pan realized his muse was nothing more than an ordinary mortal, he got bored and withdrew his spirit to another portion of the universe — leveling a few choice words at me in the process.
But if I thought that would put an end to my problems, I was sorely mistaken. Those little gnats bred like wildfire and over the course of a couple thousand years the Mylars filled your planet. Their reproduction rate plus their long lifespans (8) allowed them to rapidly advance their society — I watched them build massive civilizations all over the world and, in spite of my dislike for them, even I was impressed at their ability to construct giant monuments as a testament to their power (9).
Adjusting my plans, I tried my hand again at producing a more suitable humanoid for my designs. This time I invited a fallen lumenarc who was formerly known as Armaros to Terra – like Pan she was incredibly fertile. In later millennia she’d be known to your kind by many names (10) but in my tale we’re calling her Alyssa. This time I cast that <irresistability> spell on Adam, and when Alyssa saw the man she was all too happy to mate with him. Like Lilith had done, Alyssa too gave birth to multiple sets of fully grown humanoids after each time she bred with Adam. I couldn’t help but smile when I viewed these beautiful creatures — whom Adam named The Amorosi: they were tall, athletic, lean, and lithe, and they seemed perfect…at first. Unfortunately I quickly discovered that my genetic modification skills were still not up to snuff – although my experiments on Adam made him a de facto sexual god (11), his offspring with Alyssa also lacked that ever important soul receptacle. Thus, just like the Mylars, I was unable to control this new race of creatures. Realizing this experiment was another failure, I removed my magic from Adam so that he wouldn’t be so alluring to Alyssa – but at first this didn’t have any effect — the goddess still wanted to keep breeding with the man! I wasn’t until I convinced her there was better fodder for her sexual appetites on a planet many light years away that I succeeded in getting rid of Alyssa.
I left a lovesick (read: lust-sick) Adam to wallow in misery as he pined away for Alyssa, I observed his children — thankfully, this group didn’t breed as fast as their tiny cohorts, nor did they live as long – but even still, the Amorosi had a passion for adventure and they soon explored every nook and cranny of the planet many times over. They also got along well with the Mylars and for a few thousand years these groups lived together in peace such as your world has never known (12).
Was I disappointed that my plans hadn’t amounted to anything yet? Of course.
Was I ready to give up? Not a chance!
While the Mylars and Amorosi played house, I went back to the drawing board. Give a god a millennia or two and he can really work wonders. Such was the case for me (13). Eventually I scored a big (literally BIG!) win – successfully creating a group of giants out of stone. I called them Brutz, but you’d probably know them as trolls or ogres. They were humongous humanoids made entirely of stone and oh how they were lovely. I also released a few of them into the water and was quite the proud papa to see them morph over time into leviathans that ruled the oceans. It’s true that neither the land or sea creatures were all that smart, and once again I’d failed to produce a mortal into which I could place a soul, but the reason I deemed this experiment a success is because this was the first time I had create a living species entirely on my own (14). Meanwhile, my little pretties also paid me a side benefit – because they had a mean streak by nature, they regularly clashed with the Mylars and Amorosi. The Brutz were especially fond of the little people. And while I was a bit disappointed to see that Mylars and Amorosi always (eventually) defeated my creatures, more often than not they paid a heavy price in the process — so much so that within a few centuries the Mylars started receding into the shadows of the world so they didn’t have to fight. This “Mylar Recession” was apparently so troubling to the Amorosi that their historians marked it as the event which ended the First Age of Substance on their calendars (15).
Things happened quickly from there – relatively speaking. Within ten centuries more, I had added to the Mylar’s troubles — creating a species of flying blood sucking creatures by warping the genes of some of the little people I’d captured on my travels. I was a bit perhaps over aggressive in my genetic experiment here and looking back I have to admit that the result was a bit comical – I’d blended the genes of the mylars with some bats and a few canines and I ended up with a pitiful little reptilian-like dog that had scales all over its body and tiny spikes down its back, along with an amazingly effective pair of leathery wings that somehow allowed it to fly. You’d probably think it was ugly, but I found it beautiful – especially since these little guys were extremely aggressive (16). I called them my Gupz but they’ve been known by other names over the years (17). Now when the Mylars got a look at my Gupz, that pretty much sent them over the edge – the few that were left “in the open” quickly followed the rest of their clan mates into the hidden wilds of the world and that’s about the last time Mylars been seen on Terra (18).
The Amorosi marked their timeline for this event – calling it the “End of the Epoch of Peace” (19). Their historians marked the next period as the “Golden Era” since for about 500 years the Amorosi pretty much ran the world, but little they know I was about to turn their world upside down. Even though things didn’t work out the previous two times I’d invited one of my friends for a visit, I thought I’d try one last time — so I brought a fallen angel to Terra who was nasty in every sense of the word. She’d later be worshipped on your world as a deity known as Inanna and although I’ve always fancied her by the name Sindra (20). For my next trick I captured numerous Amorosi males and gave them to Sindra to do with as she pleased. Given her depraved nature, the goddess used them for host of depraved sexual practices so horrific even I was appalled – none of the captives survived, but many of them did impregnate Sindra such that she too gave birth to a new race – creatures that were half dead and whose only desire was to feed on the flesh of others. They were ghastly. They didn’t have souls and they couldn’t reproduce by breeding (21), but thankfully by this time I’d learned how to clone pretty effectively, so I was able to make quite a few of these monsters on my own. Once I had what I needed, I quickly sent Sindra on her way. After playing around for a few centuries I was also able to make it so that when these ghouls fed on other living creatures they would ‘infect’ them with their the internal disease that kept them half dead, half alive – which meant they could make more of themselves on their own (22). Nowadays these creatures are in vogue in your horror stories (23), but back then we called them The Skulz. For their part, the Amorosi named them The Morati and when they got a look at the work of my hand, they freaked out so much that lamented this as the End of Age Two of Substance (24).
Nonetheless, my plans were far from finished – I still needed to create humans who had souls inside them which I could control. I had a new idea, but it was so unusual that I figured I’d better get a higher authority to sign off on it first. That meant I had to reach out to my master again. Shockingly El immediately responded to my call.
“I see you’ve been busy.” El spat, observing the variation of “intelligent” life that now filled Terra.
“It’s a far cry from what I would have achieved with you here, Master.” I replied, going overboard to show my subservience to my Lord – not wanting to risk Dark Prince’s wrath at the fact that I’d done quite a bit without It’s approval. “Alas, I’ve failed at every turn. I still can’t make Adam or Lilith reproduce men and women like we wanted them too.”
“While I do not need you, Azazel, you will always need me. Never forget that.” El then used <The Power of Ze> to bore into me, penetrating my soul, searching for even a hint of treachery on my part. Somehow I was able to hide my true plans from Zebub’s son. Then it was that El asked, “What do you want me to do?”
In reality I didn’t want him to DO anything – I was actually supremely confident that my new plan would work — and because I knew I might actually succeed in finally creating a being that could be married to a soul from Zebub’s stellarum, there was going to be no hiding this from my master or The Dark Lord. As a result, I needed their blessing.
“My prior experiments had complications, Lord.” I lamented. “However I have a new idea.”
“Do you now?” God sneered.
Here I became even more cautious, for I knew all too well of El’s jealous nature (25). For a moment I weighed my options – wondering if my plan was really worth the risk (26). Realizing that I’d come this far, I knew I couldn’t stop now; so I rolled the dice and explained my idea to The Illuminated One. Thankfully, my words struck just the right chord and El took my advice — casting a deep sleep upon Adam and then allowing me to steal one of Adam’s ribs, which God and I (27) then used to create a second woman.
“I assume you’ll want to call h–”
“Eve.” El interrupted me, continuing to play along with our earlier joke (28).
After we forced a stellarone soul into her, Eve took life. Better still, Eve had no trouble submitting to Adam — and thus it was that I brought to life the woman who would eventually become the mother of all mankind (29).
Little did Eve know I had big plans for her — and her children…
- Sexually and otherwise.
- I guess some things never change, huh?
- Although sometimes I think it’s a curse.
- I mean, what did The Great Creator think would happen?!?
- Or at least I assumed as much since the soul disappeared from this dimension.
- Actually I had no intention to stop their pain even if they did worship me, but I didn’t tell them that.
- Mylars were a mere one or two feet high at maturity.
- Mylars lived hundreds of years on average.
- Psst – I’ll let you in on a little secret: The Sphinx, Stone Henge, the pyramids – these world wonders and many others were not built by ancient aliens or human slaves, instead they were built by thousands of tiny Mylars who had nothing better to do with their time.
- Aphrodite, Venus, Mezmeriza, and more.
- Adam was capable of mating with Alyssa many times a day.
- It was sickening if you ask me.
- I’m not bragging, just being honest.
- That’s got to count for something, right?
- Something I was all to happy to raise my glass in toast to.
- Think piranhas of the air and you’ll get the idea.
- Not many of my Gupz are left nowadays but a few still exist, I believe you currently call them Chupacabras.
- Oh Mylars still exist, yes even to this day, but I doubt they’d allow themselves to be seen by you, even if you knew were to look. Here’s a hint: Ireland is a good place to start – they’ll hate me for telling you, but that’s nothing new.
- Like anybody really cared.
- Truth be told I actually didn’t fancy Sindra at all because she later became quite a thorn in my side, but on this one occasion at least, she did as she was told.
- We’ll blame these flaws on Sindra.
- You call my Skulz Zombies.
- Another toast to me!
- Which stretched all the way back to the time he was once known as Lucifer.
- For I knew El (nee Lucifer) would destroy me if he sensed what I was really up to.
- In reality it was pretty much all me.
- Which in my opinion had long since been played out.
- You’re welcome.