2.23 – The Pine Bender

Location: The Siq
Time: AO321

Frustrated, Gwar dangled the body of Hacktor Derkillez before his eyes, appraising the cursed Drokka that was now little more than a tangled ball of bloody flesh and broken armor.

After a time, a new idea occurred to the brute –  after carefully putting the blade of the Ghast in a protective sheath at his hip (1), he pulled his pike from the ground. Then, tossing Hacktor’s body into the air, Gwar caught it on the prongs of his pitchfork – impaling the pitiful Kon-Herr. The faceplate of Hacktor’s helmet continually fell open and closed as his head bobbed up and down while the god shook his pike, blaming Hacktor for dying too soon.

“Ha, ha, ha!” War mocked. “What a fool you were to challenge me — for not did I easily defeat you, but I gained your great Ghast too! Ah, but that is just as well, for such a weapon as this was surely meant for me all along.”

Although he took some time to bask in victory, my colleague didn’t celebrate too long — for he knew he had more work to do (2). With the Ghast on his hip and Hacktor’s body stuck on his pike, Gwar raced to the east. In but a short time, he neared the great gates of The Siq, the entryway to the Drokka kingdom of Rhokii Pass. Once there, the God of War stood boldly before the towering doors.

Gwar seethed to behold his most hated realm in all the world — for it was the Drokka who were the only creatures who had ever made him know the taste of fear! Yet now, with The Ghast finally in his possession, he laughed, knowing that he no longer had a reason to hide.

“Come out, come out,” he called to the men inside.

Once he felt certain they were watching, Gwar did something unexpected – although certainly not out of character. For then it was that the God of Hate invented a new crime against humanity — a horrible act never before seen upon Mittengarten, but one that would become Gwar’s trademark and earn him yet another moniker. Gwar made Hacktor Derkillez – the once Kon-Herr Drokka of Rhokii Pass, the former Great Ghastwielder, and still the beloved son of Rhokii – into the first victim of one of the most ignoble of deaths: the Victim of the Pines! (3)

Tearing Hacktor’s body off his bloody pike, Gwar gave little thought as the barbs on the prongs tore out gobs of flesh from the Kon-Herr’s body. Then, he ripped away any armor that remained on the Kon-Herr and tossed it aside. Holding up the mangled pulp that was once his rival, Gwar backhanded Hacktor’s head, knocking clean the Drokka king’s helmet in the process, with countless gems from the faceplate flying off in all directions. But all of this was just a preamble to what was to come.

Next, the cruel godling used two separate ropes to first pull, then bend, and finally to batten down two of the biggest pine trees in direct view of The Siq’s doors. With the trunks tied towards one another, Gwar then bound Hacktor’s body diagonally between the battened down boughs. Hacktor’s arms and legs were thus tied tightly between the two pines. With just a third single rope holding the trap in place, it was evident what ghastly deed the War-God had in mind.

“Noooooo!” Gwar heard the voices of the Drokka call from within their stronghold – and their pleading adding to the god’s growing delight.

Giddy with excitement, War unsheathed The Ghast — and raising the glittering blade on high, he roared, “I am Gwar, The Great Ghastwielder – none shall ever defeat me!” And with a final horrific laugh of victory, Gwar brought the blade down with a <WHOOOSH!>, slashing through the rope that held his trap!

The trees quickly sprang back to vertical while gruesomely tearing Hacktor Derkillez’s body in two and flinging his tattered remains in all directions!

“Ha, Ha, HA!!” sounded the maniacal laugh of merciless War, the sounds ringing throughout the Rhokii’s.

After thus disposing of his nemesis, Gwar addressed the Drokka he knew were watching from within their supposedly safe haven, jeering, “Don’t go to sleep my little friends, for when you least expect it, I’ll be back!”


As it turned out, The Drokka would actually have a long wait before they saw Gwar again — for he did not return as quickly as promised. The Kroniklz never said what happened to The Ghast after that fateful day, but some of the legends spoken in secret claimed that Gwar had planned to use it to kill Shedu Mazai and possibly Hekubuz too, his sometimes lover. Other claimed that the God of War had even tried to wield The Ghast against Baal himself — in an effort to overthrow his own master and thus supplant himself as the Ruler of the Three Planes.

Yet, the mind of a god is not easily fathomed.


Here is the truth — Gwar wasn’t smart enough to come up with such grand plans. His sole focus was to get back to his Aerie on Kagor and ready himself for war — for the plan we agreed upon (4) was that he could use The Ghast to do as much fighting on TerrVerde as his little heart desired. Such a move would not only quench his own bloodlust, but it would help us dutifully serve our master Baal-Zebub by further destroying A’H’s creations on this world.

Obviously, this was all a sham – Gwar never did make it back to Kagor with his prize (5). For it happened on the very same day that he first obtained The Ghast, that night, while he rested from his travels, he was visited on his journey by Hekubuz — the Goddess of Temptation. Yet, deceiver that she was, on this occasion, she appeared to Gwar in the form of the Goddess of Love, Mezmeriza.

For untold millennia had Myzentyuz ever attempted to capture Mezmeriza, so that he might then enjoy all her pleasures — yet always had she eluded him. Now, however, it seemed that Fortune was surely smiling on him, for the recently victorious God of Hate had just come away from his most glorious conquest, and here, of a sudden, came his most lusted desire, now easily within his reach as well. Thus, he was only too eager to try his luck again at cornering what had always been his most elusive of prey.

Under her clever ruse, Hekubuz played her game well and avoided her brother godling for a time, but in the end, she allowed herself to be caught by Gwar. After but a moment to enjoy yet another victory, the God of War soon devoured the task at hand. After ages and ages of failed attempts to possess Mezmeriza, now that he seemingly held that goddess in his arms, he was not about to let her slip away again.

And so War forced himself upon the seeming Goddess of Love, and he was not gentle about it — attempting, by his passionate fury, to show the object of his all-too-long-unrequited desire exactly what she had been missing all these many centuries.

And he had his way with her again…

and again…

and again!

When at last the fires of Myzentyuz’s lust had been quenched, a deep sleep came upon him. Or perhaps it was a sleep induced by the seductive secrets of Hekubuz and her soul-sucking sex magic?

Whatever the real reason, it mattered not; instead, the end result is what is important to our tale. For as the God of War was sleeping, Hekubuz silently regained her own form, and then even more quietly she stole away with The Ghast!

When Gwar awoke, he found not only his new lover gone, but also The Ghast as well! That magical weapon that he had only so recently just won, and which was to bring him glory beyond compare, yes it was gone.

One can only imagine then, the fury and anger the God of War must have felt at that moment — for just as quickly as he once had the world at his feet, now all too soon had he lost it all!

“Mezmeriiiiiiiiizzzzzaaaaaa!!” screamed Gwar. “You vile bitch! Come back here and obey your new master!”

Yet no one responded to the God of Hate’s demands.


Gwar never did learn the truth about the actual identity of the goddess he had just possessed, but his mind never allowed him to contemplate anything other than the fact that, to him, it was indeed Mezmeriza that he had coupled with. And so, for decades forward Gwar had but one focus as he insanely searched for that thief goddess, forsaking all else. For not only had Mezmeriza stolen the magical Ghast, but she had also stolen Myzentyuz’s black heart – if ever there really was such a thing! (6)

Meanwhile, The Ghast was about to get a new home…


Nektar’s Notes:

  1. You’re welcome, Lummox!
  2. At least he remembered our agreement. I wasn’t sure he would.
  3. Oh, you’ve never heard of this? Well, you’re in for a real treat!
  4. At least what Gwar understood our plans to be – which was laughably quite far from my own designs.
  5. I can’t believe he even thought I would allow him to do that. What a fool.
  6. There wasn’t – trust me.
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