Location: Fubar – Capital City of Orkney
Time: Sixth Age, Spring to Winter, Year 47
My pawns Ramssee and Kaoz arrived at Fubar – the capital of Orkney – later that summer, and while Kaoz was forced to stay out of sight because of his freakish appearance, the changeling Ramssee could move about freely. He was my perfect agent. Passing himself off as a traveling minstrel, he was eagerly received by the villagers who lapped up the news of the day he shared about the goings-on in other parts of the world.
Mortals, in their blissful ignorance, love nothing more than a new bit of gossip. Ramssee’s persuasive powers, a little gift I’d given him, helped him eventually receive an invitation to the court of Karl Dinus, the (then) merchant king of Orkney.
King Karl was a portly, bearded man, a widower with two sons, and who had a penchant for traveling around and doing “good work”—all of which made him an easy mark for a clever, conniving soul like myself. Ramssee easily got himself taken into confidence and soon enough became Karl’s top advisor. As payment for his services, not only did the King reward him with a healthy stipend, but he also gave Ramssee a small estate villa on the outskirts of the royal palace grounds, complete with a full complement of servants. Just as Ramssee had requested, his estate was in a somewhat secluded location, giving him the privacy he desired. He had convinced Karl and his court that despite his extroverted court demeanor, deep down, he was rather shy and had a rather charming case of “social anxiety.” How clever.
Able to read humans easily—another small blessing from me, of course—Ramssee identified numerous savvy business moves that King Karl benefited from. One of the first was his advice that Karl arrange the marriage of his son, Diked, to the sister of his son’s friend, Dugan Finch. Ramssee had identified Dugan as a useful shill when he’d met the boy during the latter’s summer visit to Orkney. That’s when Ramssee had learned that Dugan’s father, Merrill Finch, was the richest man in Monthaven, and that his wealth had ballooned after the passing of his business partner John Stapleton.
As Ramssee explained to the king – the joining of the Dinus and Finch households would to be a win-win for all involved – the Finch’s generous dowry cold provid King Dinus with a new source of income, whilst the marriage would give Merrill Finch the one thing his money couldn’t buy – entrance into a royal family
King Karl readily agreed, and when Merrill visited to bring Dugan back home, Ramssee used his <Power of Persuasion> on the merchant and successfully sold him on the marriage too.
And so it was that Prince Diked Dinus was betrothed to Lynsy Finch—the engagement was entirely arranged by the fathers and the children never actually met. Most importantly, the ease of the arrangement’s negotiations quickly caused Ramssee’s reputation to skyrocket, earning him “Most Favored Son” status in Fubar.
Things were going rather swimmingly for Ramssee—that is, until Kaoz started causing problems.
By the fall of ’47, the myz was tired of skulking in the shadows—a feeling I understood perfectly, though for me, it’s a strategic choice, not a punishment. He paid a visit to his partner to let him know it.
The timing of Kaoz’s visit was rather inconvenient for Ramssee, who was with a prostitute at the time. But as a small thanks for not disturbing his dalliance with the girl, once he realized Kaoz was watching him from the bedroom window, Ramssee invited him in and then let the myz have his way with the whore as well—with Kaoz inevitably killing the girl in the process of satisfying his own savage passions. A beautiful, brutal display of instinct. I can still recall the guttural roar of my myz, a sound that, to me, is as beautiful as any symphony.
While Ramssee was not exactly thrilled to see the myz, the King’s Advisor accepted things as they were and assured Kaoz that he was already making progress with their agreement.
“I have the King’s ear, friend,” Ramssee advised. “We’ll have access to Akka in no time.”
“Live high life,” Kaoz slithered, black saliva dripping from his lips. “But Kaoz get Grim!”
With Kaoz soon living at his estates, the privacy issue became even more important for Ramssee. Not only did the two of them agree that the myz would stay hidden among the shadows of the viperz’s private villa, but the King’s Advisor became highly selective about which servants he allowed to work for him, making a show of hiring the more unfortunate members of society (particularly those who were deaf or dumb) as part of his public works projects. Again, how very clever. He chose those who could neither hear his hushed conversations nor speak of the large, gray monster living in his garden. It was a nice touch, a nod to his burgeoning cunning.
The next event worth noting occurred in the final month of the fall of ’47, when King Karl went away on business, just before the Winter Storms were set to arrive. The king left his oldest son, Brinn, in charge of the kingdom—with Ramssee and the Captain of the Guard, Alec, as his chief stewards.
With the King gone, Ramssee used his position as Advisor to effectively run Orkney through Brinn. He had to keep all his dealings above board, however, because (in addition to Brinn’s good nature), the viperz sensed that Captain Alec was not a fan of Fubar’s “Most Favored Son.” A shame, really. I do love a good, public display of treachery.
However, in spite of these minor frustrations, it was during this time period that another member of the Royal Family began to show promise—Brinn’s younger brother, Diked Dinus. With the court practically running itself, Ramssee found multiple reasons to spend time alone with young Diked. The two became fast friends—at least that was what Ramssee let Diked believe. More importantly, Diked proved Ramssee’s faith in him was justified—for the boy was easily corruptible and eventually emerged as the potential linchpin in the viperz’s covert plans.
Those plans were developing nicely, from Ramssee’s point of view. However, events were not moving fast enough for the myz.
“Why miners no dig in Akka?” The myz complained, his voice a low, gravelly rumble that rattled the windows of the villa.
“Kaoz, my partner,” Ramssee soothed, his eyes beginning to swirl with that special magic I’d given him. “These things take time. But rest assured, we’re making great progress.”
“Taking too long!” Kaoz spat, a black spittle landing on the polished marble floor.
“Miners can’t dig in the winter,” Ramssee explained patiently, as if talking to a simple child. “The ground is frozen solid. It would be a waste of resources.”
“Miners not dig when warm either! Krat! Kaoz want dagger – now!”
“I’m sure The Shaitan appreciates our efforts.” Ramssee began to let his eyes spin persuasively. “I’ve worked hard to earn the King’s trust. I now have his son under my control. Rest assured, Kaoz, the plans you and I have made ARE working.”
“So King will dig now?”
“Not exactly,” Ramssee admitted, looking away. A fleeting moment of genuine panic, I believe. It was delightful to see.
“Why?” Kaoz raged, his fists clenching, the sheer force of his rage threatening to crack the stone column he was leaning against.
“The King is still afraid that his people will contract the Plague of Akka if they disturb that Drrukka graveyard,” Ramssee lied, a lie that, to his credit, was half-truth. The Plague of Akka was my own little creation, after all. A beautiful, silent killer I unleashed long ago to clear the way for my plans.
“Arg. Ramssee talk, but not do!”
“Sometimes you can’t SEE results, my friend.” Ramssee’s eyes began to spin again, the three colors blurring into a hypnotic spiral. “Give me a little more time to see if Karl responds. If he doesn’t, we’ll get rid of him.” And with a smile, he added, “That’s where YOU come in, Kaoz. Don’t you see, either way you’ll be getting satisfaction soon!”
Kaoz smiled at the prospect of murdering a king and let his anger subside… for now.
I’m going to have to give him a bone soon, Ramssee thought, as he smiled back at the myz. This dog won’t heel forever.
Early that winter, the snake-man came up with an idea that he was sure would make everyone happy. It was a lie, of course, a little tidbit I had planted in his mind long ago, festering and growing until he believed it was his own genius. His plan was simple and elegant: it offered Kaoz an opportunity to get more involved, and it promised to help advance their plans with the royals.
He knew he needed to pull Diked over to the dark side faster. The boy was ripe for the plucking, but he was a delicate little fruit, easily bruised. Ramssee, with all the grace of a true predator, invited the King’s younger son to a private dinner at his villa. The evening started pleasantly enough, with my advisor and Diked sharing a well-trimmed meal in Ramssee’s ornate dining room. The servants moved about like silent ghosts, tending to their every need. After the meal, Ramssee, with a flourish, invited Diked to continue their conversation under the stars as they walked along the paths of his private gardens.
Outfitted in heavy, fur-lined coats to protect them against the biting, icy climate, the soles of their boots clicked with a sharp, rhythmic precision on the pavers of the garden. Ramssee continued his enticing talk, and with every word the viperz spoke, his frosty breath cut the cold air like a serpent’s venom. When he wasn’t talking, Ramssee was puffing on a smoke stick, and every so often he would let Diked have a draw as well. The boy, so thrilled to partake of the forbidden, puffed and choked with a pathetic bravado. In time, they passed the main fountain in the center of the garden and eventually came to the black, looming entrance of the hedge maze.
“Shall we?” The viperz goaded the boy, a cruel smile playing on his lips.
Here, the teenager paused, pulling his furs closer around himself and wondering whether it was perhaps just better to return to the warm confines of the house, rather than to venture into a dimly lit shrub puzzle with his father’s steward on a night that was growing colder by the candle mark. A flicker of self-preservation, a tiny spark of wisdom. How quaint.
“You’re not afraid of the dark are you, Diked?” Taunted Ramssee, his voice a low, sibilant whisper. “Where’s your sense of adventure?”
“It’s not that,” stammered the young prince, a lie that tasted like ash in his mouth. Ever since he’d met his new ‘best’ friend, the boy couldn’t get enough of Ramssee. He was a moth to a flame, a sheep to the slaughter, and he knew it. However, as they neared the maze, a strange chill ran up Diked’s spine, and in his heart of hearts he knew it wasn’t just the cold weather of Orkney’s winter night. It was the presence of something ancient, something hungry, waiting for him within the shadows.
“Diked, look at me.” The snake-man’s eyes began to spin—yellow, black, and green swirling in a hypnotic mix. He was a maestro, an artist of the psyche, and this was his finest performance. “There is nothing to fear. This is the night we’ve all been waiting for. There’s someone I want you to meet. Are you willing to take the next step with me?”
Captivated by Ramssee’s gaze, the boy’s mind went blank, his own will dissolving into the aether. He mouthed, “Yes.”
“Excellent.” The King’s Aide smiled, a flash of white teeth in the darkness. “Well then, let’s enter the maze and meet your friend. I’ve already told him all about you. He is very excited to meet you. You’ll like him, Diked. His name is Kaoz.”
The rest of that winter was, for Kaoz, a season of utter delight. Ramssee and Kaoz took great pains to “scar” Prince Diked, effectively brainwashing him into a life of beautiful, unadulterated evil. They let him watch as they abused and tortured the whores of Fubar, showing him how to take delight in the pain of others. The screams of the women, the guttural roars of the myz, the cold, analytical instructions of the viperz—it was a lesson in the true nature of power. After a few sessions in which Diked only watched, eventually Ramssee invited the prince to actively participate—the boy thus lost his virginity in an ordeal that was a mix of physical and mental abuse: violent, dominating, and extreme. It was the perfect rite of passage for a budding evil minion.
“Don’t listen to their screams.” The snake-man instructed the prince, his voice a soothing, deadly hiss. “These women wanted to come here. They knew what we would do with them. They were asking for it. They delight in this abuse.” He was an eloquent liar, a master of self-deception, and his words were a poison that seeped into Diked’s mind, justifying every vile act. He was teaching the boy my most sacred truth: that power is not about strength, but about convincing others to accept your will.
At first, Ramssee didn’t allow Diked to see what happened to the women after they finished with them, telling him that he and Kaoz did send them away to a better life as everybody thought. But, once Diked began to accept more evil thoughts, soon enough they brought him into their fold further, allowing him to witness them killing the girls—for, as they explained to him, this was necessary in order to keep Fubar cleansed of the vile black magic that women do.
“I want to try too.” The prince grinned, his smile a delight to both Ramssee and Kaoz, who were pleasantly surprised to see Diked so eager to try his hand at killing.
However, Ramssee would not allow Diked to take a life yet. “Your first time has to be special, meaningful.” The Advisor explained, his eyes glinting. “Wasting it on some two-bit whore is not what I have in mind for you. For now you will only watch…and learn.” He was an artist, and he knew a true masterpiece could not be rushed.
As the new year bloomed, while Winter still held its grip over Orkney, the King’s Aide continued to teach Prince Diked about the possibilities of Power. “A royal takes what he wants,” the King’s Aide had instructed. “Everything you see, everyone you meet, it is all there for the taking.” Next, Ramssee and Kaoz helped Diked experience the thrill of kidnapping homeless people from the streets of Fubar and bringing them back to the villa so that Kaoz would ‘play’ with them in a variety of ways. The myz, a magnificent brute, was in his element, his monstrous instincts perfectly aligned with Ramssee’s plans.
The prince’s bloodlust grew by leaps and bounds, and he again expressed a desire to be allowed to take a life, yet Ramssee resisted. Even when Kaoz growled his displeasure at the viperz’s delay, still Ramssee would not budge.
“The first kill must be special.” The King’s Aide rebuked, his voice filled with an unshakeable resolve. “Some low-life from the streets doesn’t qualify. Trust me—I have a plan.”
Yet the viperz would not tell just who or what the circumstance was he was planning for Diked’s first kill. When the prince continued to whine, Ramssee, like a master angler, encouraged Diked to think of other pursuits.
“Shouldn’t you be visiting Monthaven?” The snake-man planted his seed.
“Why?” The prince was confused. “Everything I want is here.”
“Don’t you have a fiancé waiting to meet you?” Ramssee chuckled, a low, rumbling sound that was both amused and predatory.
“I wonder what she’s like?” Diked smiled—his sexual appetites aroused at the thought of a new conquest.
Naturally, Kaoz and Ramssee encouraged him to find out.
The Apocrypha of Azazel 