Part XV: The Coming of the Myz
Chapter 1: Gwar’s Challenge
Timeline: AO 303-318
You’ll be pleased to know that I finally broke myself away from my addictive behavior with The Eye, and I even went cold turkey on the blood-wine for a while. Believe it or not, I managed to keep myself in check for a good week. I was super productive—harvested a few souls, dusted off some old spells from my library, did a bit of cataloging in The Morgue, and even hosted a death communal in The Necronomicon. Pretty good, right?
Well, that lasted until one particularly boring night when The Eye was just lying there, tempting me like a cursed fruit.
“Just a quick check,” I told myself, “A little peek won’t hurt.”
This time, though, I decided to ignore the Drokka’s dreary affairs and instead turned my gaze toward a few of my old godling friends. After all, it’s important work to keep tabs on them, or so I kept telling myself as I fell back into the old habit.
Now, here’s the thing about The Eye: once you start, it’s hard to stop. It’s like those deranged humans and their fascination with fire—one spark and everything’s ablaze. So, there I was, comfortably sunk into my favorite chair, lazily flipping through the fates of various gods, when I stumbled upon some rather interesting tidbits….
Eventually, word about Hacktor Derkillez’ foolish challenge to the gods spread, as things like this often do. What Hacktor didn’t know was that we so-called ‘evil’ gods had our eye on him long before he decided to challenge us.
While I would have preferred to keep his rise to fame off the radar, the name Hacktor Derkillez had somehow caught the attention of the Goddess of Lust. Now, the Drokka called her Hekubuz, but I remember her lumenarc days as Inanna. You’ll recall that during this time she was living in Ramos, going by the name Sindra—the Queen of the Jungle. I’m guessing that the Soul Sucker probably first got wind of my pawn when I ah… spent a bit of time with her whilst on vacation at her palace at Karkemesh back in AO300.
Initially The Eye didn’t show Sindra taking action directly against the Drokka, but I knew she’d surely send out her spies to investigate and she’s learn soon enough that a dwarf possessed a magical weapon of mass destruction infused with god-like power. That would make her seethe with rage. I figured she’d be calling upon me soon – asking if I was behind this weapon and surely wanting me to help her get her hands on one too. It was a visit I’d gladly welcome – for I knew I could use it to my advantage.
What I didn’t anticipate is that she’d develop a strategy that usurped one of my pawns as her own – yet that is indeed what happened: Sindra got her hooks into the Babelonian Marduk – Garrick of the Golden Hand and over the course of the next two decades not only did she completely take control of his mind, body, and soul, but she also used him to gain influence over the Priory of the Myz. But that’s story for a bit later. For now, let’s talk about Gwar…
“What about Gwar?” I wondered, flipping aside the threads of fate to find his story in The Eye.
Turns out Gwar was up to no good as well.
After causing trouble in Hyperborea, I later ran into him in Ramos. After that I lost track of him on my own, but The Eye now showed me he was messing about in the middle of the flat earth right about the period I’d lost all that time stuck in The Womb of Forgotten Dreams – when I saw that he was lurking about that vicinity I knew that wasn’t just bad timing; that was deliberate. I hated him for meddling in my affairs and feared he might know about The Cradle of Despair or The Crypt of Death’s Horrors. Either one could get him closer to Dagaal, and that thought alone made me want to tear him apart.
Eventually the fates showed him back in TerrVerde – round about the year AO314 – which again was too much of a coincidence. After that he bounced back and forth between his island home on Kagor and Ramos – undoubtedly plotting with Sindra behind my back. Finally, in the year AO 318 the fates showed him hearing about a new Drokka Derkka war. As expected, he went straight to the source—Hacktor Derkillez – Gwar showed up at the site of the still-ruined Siq, demanding that the Drokka king come out to face him.
[It had been nearly twenty years since the Siq had been destroyed by the Priory of The Myz plot, yet The Twin Towers Rebuilding Project that was commissioned to restore The Siq’s glory had proven to be little more than a boondoggle that had only resulted in enriching its financial investors (read: Monty Redstone) and had never actually made any progress on rebuilding the gates. The best the builders had succeeded in doing (under threat of death by Hacktor if they didn’t at least produce something) was the construction of a new wall that offered a servicable barrier to protect the entrance to the kingdoms under the mountain. Since this location was the the first defense against the goblin hordes from Gor and was also the gateway to Rhokii Pass, troops were always on duty here]
Yet the Drokka guard now stared with terror when they saw the god Gwar standing before them! For Gwar was a monster – standing twenty feet tall, his long black hair flowing from beneath his silver helm, was enough to send any mortal scurrying for cover. In his right hand, he held a pitchfork, and in his left, a serrated sword, double-barbed at the hilt—both weapons soaked in the blood of countless mortals.
“Hacktor Derkillez!” Gwar bellowed, his voice echoing through the mountains. “Come out of that hole, you cowardly mole! I am here to answer your challenge. Come meet Samyaza, and I will give you your destiny!”
[Ah, Samyaza. The name harkened back to Gwar’s days as a lumenarc in Illyria, before The Great Fall. The Drokka didn’t know that part of the story, though. To them, Gwar was a god created by Baal to destroy the good races of Mittengarten. According to their myths, Gwar erupted from Ragnaroken, breaking through the ground in Western Gor, creating the island of Kagor. Nice story, but hardly true. You’ll remember that Gwar was sent to Terra ages ago by Baal-Zebub to help me cause trouble. He’s failed miserably ever since, only good at causing problems for me].
The Drokka guarding the entrance to Rhokii Pass stared in terror as Gwar sneered, his black blood drooling from his mouth, poisonous to mortal life. “Do you dare defy me, puny little stone man? Where is your great weapon now? Surely you don’t think some little tree chopper can help you defeat me, do you?”
Now in truth, had Hacktor been present to wield The Ghast against him, it could very well have meant death for the God of War – for remember Hacktor’s blade had been infused with the magical qualities of Limitless Endurance and Unmatched Power, and then secretly graced with two additional powers – The Might of Rhokii and The Mind of Myndoz – by those meddling gods behind my back. It was thus more than capable of destroying a godling like Gwar.
Maybe Gwar knew this, maybe not. In the end, after much raving, Gwar didn’t attack the Drokka stronghold. Instead, he proclaimed, “Pah, you’re not worth my time. Come find me when you want to fight. But don’t think I’ll forget about your insults. You’ll pay for your words yet.” Pointing his pitchfork at the broken gates of The Siq, he shouted, “I’ll be waiting. And know this, little mole, The Ghast you so trust in, it will be mine… along with your head!”
After seeing Gwar’s rash action, I quickly scrolled through the fate lines on The Eye, checking back in on Hacktor since I hadn’t seen his reaction to Gwar’s challenge in my prior review of his history.
Hacktor wasn’t at the capital when Gwar issued his challenge in AO318, but when he returned home later that fall, he was furious.
Sitting on his throne in the Hall of the Double Axes, Hacktor pounded on the arms of his chair, kicking his legs out in spasms, screaming in anger. “GWAR! GWAR!” he howled, the sound echoing through the hall. Then, suddenly, he went silent.
Queen Hecla, sitting beside him, couldn’t hide the worried look on her face. Courtiers began whispering among themselves, wondering if Hacktor was losing his mind. But they were wrong. Soft at first, but growing louder, Hacktor began to laugh. It started as a chuckle, then grew into uncontrollable guffaws. Hecla glanced at him, confused, but she joined in, pretending to laugh along. The courtiers, ever the sheep, followed suit.
Then Hacktor stopped, his face hardening. Standing on the dais, he roared, “Don’t you see, Oh My Brothers? Can’t you see what a fool Gwar is? He has played right into our hands. The prophecy is true! This will indeed be the time of our LAST Great Battle!”
Gasps of shock echoed through the throne room.
Hacktor continued, now almost to himself, “Ah, but The Spirit of The Well surely is great indeed. For a time, I was almost about to doubt It, despite my success, for the accursed Derk numbers never seem to dwindle! But surely this blunder by Gwar is the omen I have waited for.”
Turning to the crowd, he raised The Ghast high. “My people, follow me! Together, we will meet this ill-given challenge head-on. Let us put an end to this accursed war once and for all! Fear not the Ragnarok!”
The warriors in the crowd shouted back, “Challenge not the Drokka, for Rhokii is our god!” Cheers erupted, while the politicians quickly left to spread word that the king was writing his own death sentence. And all the while, Hecla sat white with horror.
As for me? Well, I couldn’t help but laugh at the whole spectacle. Gwar’s blunder was something I could most definitely use to set the stage for a final showdown – better yet all I had to do was sit back and watch the chaos unfold.
The Apocrypha of Azazel 